Today has been a very pivotal day in terms of my emotions and the reality that it really is my choice to be happy instead of letting others affect my happiness so much. At this time in my life I feel as though some friendships which were once so strong have slowly grown so distant that it is hard for me to grasp that I may not be part of their lives anymore & that they may not be part of mine as much as they used to be.
I am not the best at putting my emotions/feelings into words (usually they just end up coming out in tears) and I feel I have had so many days lately where I just feel so hurt so deep inside that i can't even express it. It's so much easier to ignore it and put a smile on my face when deep down I have so much sadness. But today I am making the choice to just accept that life changes, we grow, and sometimes that means we grow apart. I cannot let my happiness depend on others but that "happiness depends upon ourselves" (Aristotle).
I was browsing through some really old blog posts when I came across this one that I wrote a really long time ago. The best way for me to push out the negative in my mind is focusing on the positive. So here is my Here's to Happiness list, part two.
1. Unexpected early morning/late night cuddles
2. Nowhere to go on a rainy day but stay inside with a book or a good movie
3. Autumn leaves, spices, weather, holidays, foods, etc.
4. Feeling confident in something I worked hard on
5. the unconditional love of my family
6. the unconditional love of my husband
7. clearing my mind on walks
8. freshly washed sheets
9. baby anything (animals, kids...you get it)
10. bright colors/images